Movember: the top 30 moustaches in music

Movember is well underway, with some fantastic efforts being sported (and improvised) by the men and women at Musicroom towers.

To celebrate the month and it’s cause to raise money in the fight against prostate and testicular cancer, we thought we’d run down the Musicroom Top 30 of Moustaches in Music.

Check out the list and let us know what you think with a comment below.

If you’re taking part in Movember, why not post your latest progress picture too, or one from a friend, with a sponsorship link to spread the word? With only a week or so left to grow we’re hoping to see some excellent efforts from our readers.

Want to find out more about Movember? Visit Movember.com for more information.

Without further ado, let’s begin…

Number 30: The Bee Gees

Although clean shaven Robin Gibb was as smooth as a silky proverbial, his bearded brothers Barry and Maurice gave The Bee Gees the facial fungus to launch thousands of silver glitter balls onto the ceilings of 70′s disco dance floors all over the world.

Number 29: ZZ Top

We can already hear the outcry – “Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill only make it to 29? What is this madness?!” – but bear with us on this one. ZZ Top are arguably as famous for their iconic beards as their riffs, but aren’t the pair’s mustaches a little bit overwhelmed by their all enveloping face manes? Their beards are indeed impressive – wizard worthy in fact – but the lack of mo focus brings them down the list.

Number 28: Dave Grohl

A solid, respectable and (looking back over years) consistent look from Rock’s Mr Nice Guy.

Number 27: The Beach Boys

When we look at Brian Wilson and co back in the day we think of only two things:

One: Comfort – those mustaches look like the foot-rests of the facial hair equivalent of a La-Z-Boy crossed with a hay bale.

And two: Density – their upper lips look like magnets set to attract super heavy lead filings. Forget steel!

Number 26: Jimi Hendrix

Hendrix may not have sported an all-out soup strainer, but what he may have lacked in bold, bushy brutality he made up for with the muzzer equivalent of a roguish, nonchalant shrug.

Number 25: Quincey Jones

Once a cutting edge mid-face fringe, Jones shows how to rock the fuzz even when hair colour can’t keep up. Neat and understated rather than Off The Wall.

Number 24: Les Claypool (Primus)

The eccentric bass player appears to have reserved a permanent parking space for a furry hang-glider beneath his nostrils.

Number 23: Charles Mingus

Mingus never needed to break his cool to make a point with his music, and neither did his trim and thin top lip line.

Number 22: Bill Kelliher (Mastodon)

Handle bar central! Kelliher’s mustache makes a statement without making a mess.

Number 21: Santana

Hazy does it for the Smooth guitarist whose somewhat intangible zephyr of facial fair appears to float below his nose like a wispy fuzz cloud.

Number 20: Django Reinhardt

As well as redefining Jazz with a European perspective in the early 20th century, Django Reinhardt also breaks the top 20 of our list with a mustache of unconventional sophistication.

Number 19: Jesse F Keeler and Sebastian Grainger (Death From Above 1979)

What this noise rock bass and drums duo lacked in guitarists they more than made up for with tasch panache.

Number 18: Boston

Judging by the amount of fuzzy real estate erected under the noses of four of the band’s five members, Boston’s facial hair feats were far more than a feeling.

Number 17: Rob Zombie

Metal titan turned horror film maker Rob Zombie can boast an impressive moustache alongside his musical and cinematic achievements.

Number 16: Derek Smalls (Spinal Tap)

The ultimate moustache pastiche from the great music spoof ever, Derek Smalls may be a fictional character in a tongue-in-cheek mockumentary, but the magnitude of his face foliage is far from fictitious.

Number 15: Lemmy (Motorhead)

Lemmy’s legendary fuzzy curtain-rail could almost be considered as a secondary hairline for the Ace Of Spades croaker. Perhaps the inspiration behind Smalls’ topiary, the original, as ever is the best.

Number 14: The Beatles

As a group, The Beatles’ facial hair fashions went through a number of phases. Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band could be considered the album that captured the peak of their mustachioed powers with a clean, neat and consistant look.

Number 13: Taylor Rice (Local Natives)

It’s as if Daniel Day-Lewis’ portrayal of Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood had been boiled down into a smudge of facial hair and set to LA indie rock.

Number 12: Eugene Hutz (Gogol Bordello)

This audacious, curly lip scarf is something of a calling card for the lead singer of Gypsy-punk band Gogol Bordello.

Number 11: Dimebag (Pantera)

The late Pantera axeman’s distinctive cut almost had as many edges, sides and angles as his signature guitars.

Number 10: Lionel Richie

Hello? Mr Richie’s just got to let you know… about the impressive hairy slug that’s been residing upon his top lip since well before his early career with The Commodores took flight. Does it have you dancing on the ceiling?

Number 9: George Michael

A lot’s changed for George Michael since his clean shaven, perm headed introduction to the charts with Wham! not least his impressively controlled facial hair stylings. Part Fu-Manchu, part pirate and, in the 90s at least, all-conquering.

Number 8: Jess Hughes (Eagles of Death Metal)

The greatness of Hughes’ mouth-brow lies in its overhanging, bushy excess, defiant gingerness and sense that the frontman’s wild man antics keep his free-range fuzz in check purely through blood, sweat, tears and Bourbon alone.

Number 7: Rivers Cuomo (Weezer)

Maybe it’s the nervous smile, thick rimmed glasses and taste for beige smoking jackets but is anyone else questioning whether they remember Walter White having a hugely successful career a prolific emo pop songwriters before Breaking Bad?

Number 6: Frank Zappa

In contrast to the uncompromisingly experimental nature of his music, Zappa’s tache could almost be considered to be something of a traditional look: English civil war cavalier prog superstar perhaps?

Number 5: The Village People

Possibly music’s ultimate ensemble of mustachio mastery, if we were to include the Village People as individuals on our list the men known only as Cop, Construction Worker, Sailor and Cowboy might have dominated great swathes of our selection. In the interests of fairness, we’ve counted them as a whole.

Number 4: Greg Norton (Hüsker Dü)

Greg Norton’s impressively twirly nose tickler echoes vaudeville and the eternally detained violent prisoner Charles Bronson.

Number 3: Nick Cave

The prominent Australian songwriter, author and artist’s handlebar is a sharp and tidy picture of suave, dark and brooding sophistication.

Number 2: Freddie Mercury

While Freddie Mercury’s stage attire could often look like a combination of ring master of the circus and Victorian tumbler acrobat, his mustache would have been happy to call the top lips of a hardened TV crime detective home. Mercury’s mustache was like a mono-brow on an expedition.

Number 1: John Oates (Hall & Oates)

John Oates’ fuzz may not be the most elaborate or intimidating on our list but his 80′s power-tache is a model of simplicity, presentation and execution with not a whisker wasted. Powerful stuff! Like a mezzanine extension built out of follicles.

What are your favourite musical mustaches?

Are you raising money for prostate and testicular cancer this Movember? Why not post your latest update pictures with a  sponsorship link below to spread the word?

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  1. speedtrucker says

    movember 2013 better include Ron David Mael from Sparks… dudes moustache was epic and they even had a song called Moustache about his moustache.